~Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
The Difference between Good & Evil to the Hurt & Desperate?
Published Wednesday, January 11, 2006 | E-mail this post
[originally posted 10/28/2005]
I've been meditating for days, I finally built the secure facility that I've needed, it's quiet, safe and I don't need to worry about being ambushed by the contractors hired to go after me. It's located near the old trails, and the original shrine I learned to meditate at. I've truly found my place of rest and retreat.
I've been pondering the question of my cowardice, my level of disgust, my hate...
I don't like what C--- has done. I recognize he needs to pay for his crimes, but what he's done hasn't been to me personally, because of that I'm the most likely to be least affected by anger and rage when I make him pay. I see this in the cards. I will of course attempt to put him off balance, to consider the thought that he could come back from the hole he's dug. Contrary to his own opinion it isn't a grave.
I left my meditation becaues B----- invited me to take part in a council he had set up concerning the danger of C---. I tried to be the voice of reason... I tried to point out that we cannot become anger, fear, and resentment in order to beat him. But the sad fact is that he's already won that battle to a degree. Those in the room were entirely too ready to change themselves in order to combat the threat. Change should come from within and growth, not outside forces of decay like him.
I felt seperate and alone, I finally needed to leave before I called them all fools.... but I fear it's too late.... leaving probably made that message all the more clear, perhaps though it is only because I've been seeing visions of blood the last few days, time to walk again, to move and breathe... Perhaps the new opportunities on Mustafar will cause my visions to become more clear..... Even if not I'm sure there's something there to get my mind off it....
Unfortunately that also usually causes blood stains.
I've been meditating for days, I finally built the secure facility that I've needed, it's quiet, safe and I don't need to worry about being ambushed by the contractors hired to go after me. It's located near the old trails, and the original shrine I learned to meditate at. I've truly found my place of rest and retreat.
I've been pondering the question of my cowardice, my level of disgust, my hate...
I don't like what C--- has done. I recognize he needs to pay for his crimes, but what he's done hasn't been to me personally, because of that I'm the most likely to be least affected by anger and rage when I make him pay. I see this in the cards. I will of course attempt to put him off balance, to consider the thought that he could come back from the hole he's dug. Contrary to his own opinion it isn't a grave.
I left my meditation becaues B----- invited me to take part in a council he had set up concerning the danger of C---. I tried to be the voice of reason... I tried to point out that we cannot become anger, fear, and resentment in order to beat him. But the sad fact is that he's already won that battle to a degree. Those in the room were entirely too ready to change themselves in order to combat the threat. Change should come from within and growth, not outside forces of decay like him.
I felt seperate and alone, I finally needed to leave before I called them all fools.... but I fear it's too late.... leaving probably made that message all the more clear, perhaps though it is only because I've been seeing visions of blood the last few days, time to walk again, to move and breathe... Perhaps the new opportunities on Mustafar will cause my visions to become more clear..... Even if not I'm sure there's something there to get my mind off it....
Unfortunately that also usually causes blood stains.
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(This blog is a fictional journal of a character from the game Star Wars Galaxies. An MMORPG with a strong roleplaying community. Thanks to all the people I play with in the Sunrunner Galaxy. I couldn't tell this story without you.) Clear Skies, ~Noel
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