~Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
[originally posted 6/29/2005]
It's over.... the elders are pleased. They knew about the spice, they were just waiting for me to accept the skills and abilities I have without modification or justification. They tell me I don't have to shoot for them anymore.... but the hooded look in their eyes lets me know that if I don't they may not survive. It's alright, I'm willing. I'm just glad that I have learned enough not to hurt anyone. I have changed.
I have people I'm fighting for now. Not just nameless victims but flesh and blood that I care for. People I want to protect, help, and even maybe love....
I joined the rebellion because I saw injustice, I stayed because it isn't over yet. Now I've realized that I do it for them.... For the people I think of when I wake up, and before I sleep.... amazing.... I had begun to think nobody would see past the facade, and in the last couple months many have.... not even my last squad got to know me that well.... or maybe I wasn't ready to be known... Anyway there's a personal reason for my work now... not an abstract one.... and more than being able to predict cards, or manipulate coins is what is truly what I've learned through the elders, though I don't think it's the lesson they meant to teach....
My dream wasn't a vision or a telling last night, it was of me and my friends, my adopted family, done with our work, enjoying each other's company without the fear of white boots crashing through the door. I hope that dream becomes a vision in truth.
It's over.... the elders are pleased. They knew about the spice, they were just waiting for me to accept the skills and abilities I have without modification or justification. They tell me I don't have to shoot for them anymore.... but the hooded look in their eyes lets me know that if I don't they may not survive. It's alright, I'm willing. I'm just glad that I have learned enough not to hurt anyone. I have changed.
I have people I'm fighting for now. Not just nameless victims but flesh and blood that I care for. People I want to protect, help, and even maybe love....
I joined the rebellion because I saw injustice, I stayed because it isn't over yet. Now I've realized that I do it for them.... For the people I think of when I wake up, and before I sleep.... amazing.... I had begun to think nobody would see past the facade, and in the last couple months many have.... not even my last squad got to know me that well.... or maybe I wasn't ready to be known... Anyway there's a personal reason for my work now... not an abstract one.... and more than being able to predict cards, or manipulate coins is what is truly what I've learned through the elders, though I don't think it's the lesson they meant to teach....
My dream wasn't a vision or a telling last night, it was of me and my friends, my adopted family, done with our work, enjoying each other's company without the fear of white boots crashing through the door. I hope that dream becomes a vision in truth.
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(This blog is a fictional journal of a character from the game Star Wars Galaxies. An MMORPG with a strong roleplaying community. Thanks to all the people I play with in the Sunrunner Galaxy. I couldn't tell this story without you.) Clear Skies, ~Noel
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