~Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
[originally posted 6/24/2005]
I'm happy for the first time in a long time, at peace. I can be cared for.... Even after all the shading of the truth, exclusion of the truth, playing with the subtleties of emotion and information, the shiftless ever changing tactics and the grand game of it all, keeping everyone out while appearing to let some in.
Even after all that.... somebody cares.In actuality there's more than one, but this one, it's different.... we agreed to make no promises, have no expectations.... it only makes sense as we're both extremely wounded and healing. Yet.... I wonder, have I made a promise to myself without admitting it. I both hope so and hope not at the same time. I need to let someone in, I've been so lonley that I've driven myself crazy. Yet, I should not go overboard, I don't want this to become just another form of use.....
But I'm happy.....
I'm happy for the first time in a long time, at peace. I can be cared for.... Even after all the shading of the truth, exclusion of the truth, playing with the subtleties of emotion and information, the shiftless ever changing tactics and the grand game of it all, keeping everyone out while appearing to let some in.
Even after all that.... somebody cares.In actuality there's more than one, but this one, it's different.... we agreed to make no promises, have no expectations.... it only makes sense as we're both extremely wounded and healing. Yet.... I wonder, have I made a promise to myself without admitting it. I both hope so and hope not at the same time. I need to let someone in, I've been so lonley that I've driven myself crazy. Yet, I should not go overboard, I don't want this to become just another form of use.....
But I'm happy.....
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(This blog is a fictional journal of a character from the game Star Wars Galaxies. An MMORPG with a strong roleplaying community. Thanks to all the people I play with in the Sunrunner Galaxy. I couldn't tell this story without you.) Clear Skies, ~Noel
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