~Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
[originally posted 6/27/2005]
*groggy* I don't remember when I passed out last night, but this datapad was in my hand when I woke up. Almost as if before I even slept I knew I would want it when I woke....
I dreamed I was walking, in the mountains of talus. Enjoying the snow. No blaster, no launcher, just myself enjoying the air and the view. The dream of what I wish for when my work is done. But it changed when I got to the stream, I looked inside the water, expecting my own reflection, and instead saw the cards, spinning in the water, as if they'd been dumped there in a childs game of pickup.
As I looked at them I was suddenly in the water, not just in the water but submerged in the dark with the cards, they had grown, or I had shrunk, they were life size and menacing. Giant blades of possibility and certainty surrounding me in the water. I resisted fear and panic, finding focus easy after the last few weeks and months of training. I saw the card that represents myself, the Commander of Coins, and suddenly I was no longer under the water but inside my dark bubble, reading the cards.
The Commander of Coins - the representation of myself, the truest aspect of me in the deck. But the colors are running in my hands, dripping down, changing. There's another image emerging, one I am not quite sure of… I set it aside and draw the next. As I raise it to take a look I sense someone, or something watching me, I turn to look over my shoulder and am shown the next card, The Mistress of Staves. But what's strange is there are two… One image is from my very nice show deck, the one I usually do readings, with… The other is the image from my gambling deck, no less beautiful… Why am I being watched by two of them? I had no time to wonder, for my hand drew the next card. The Master of Sabres… Stuck to the back of Moderation…. I lay them for the future, allowing the cards to continue. For the past I draw Demise which makes complete sense to me as I have been through so much lately, wanting to kill the old me in some ways.
Drawing the final card to lay over myself is Balance. The ideal, what I'm trying to achieve…. I lay it down on the bleeding Commander of Coins. Watching without surprise as the cards touch the bleeding card changes to become...
I woke up. Almost like I was dragged out of the water… I was cold… I've flipped coins in front of the fire today, Every one landing on edge... Today's one of those days. The ions dancing on my skin tell me that nothing will ever be the same. I tossed the spice regulator in the fire. Today's the day... that everything changes. I can feel the coin flipping in the air. I walked away knowing it will land on edge... now which way will it eventually fall? How do I know? It's still spinning in the air.....
*groggy* I don't remember when I passed out last night, but this datapad was in my hand when I woke up. Almost as if before I even slept I knew I would want it when I woke....
I dreamed I was walking, in the mountains of talus. Enjoying the snow. No blaster, no launcher, just myself enjoying the air and the view. The dream of what I wish for when my work is done. But it changed when I got to the stream, I looked inside the water, expecting my own reflection, and instead saw the cards, spinning in the water, as if they'd been dumped there in a childs game of pickup.
As I looked at them I was suddenly in the water, not just in the water but submerged in the dark with the cards, they had grown, or I had shrunk, they were life size and menacing. Giant blades of possibility and certainty surrounding me in the water. I resisted fear and panic, finding focus easy after the last few weeks and months of training. I saw the card that represents myself, the Commander of Coins, and suddenly I was no longer under the water but inside my dark bubble, reading the cards.
The Commander of Coins - the representation of myself, the truest aspect of me in the deck. But the colors are running in my hands, dripping down, changing. There's another image emerging, one I am not quite sure of… I set it aside and draw the next. As I raise it to take a look I sense someone, or something watching me, I turn to look over my shoulder and am shown the next card, The Mistress of Staves. But what's strange is there are two… One image is from my very nice show deck, the one I usually do readings, with… The other is the image from my gambling deck, no less beautiful… Why am I being watched by two of them? I had no time to wonder, for my hand drew the next card. The Master of Sabres… Stuck to the back of Moderation…. I lay them for the future, allowing the cards to continue. For the past I draw Demise which makes complete sense to me as I have been through so much lately, wanting to kill the old me in some ways.
Drawing the final card to lay over myself is Balance. The ideal, what I'm trying to achieve…. I lay it down on the bleeding Commander of Coins. Watching without surprise as the cards touch the bleeding card changes to become...
I woke up. Almost like I was dragged out of the water… I was cold… I've flipped coins in front of the fire today, Every one landing on edge... Today's one of those days. The ions dancing on my skin tell me that nothing will ever be the same. I tossed the spice regulator in the fire. Today's the day... that everything changes. I can feel the coin flipping in the air. I walked away knowing it will land on edge... now which way will it eventually fall? How do I know? It's still spinning in the air.....
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(This blog is a fictional journal of a character from the game Star Wars Galaxies. An MMORPG with a strong roleplaying community. Thanks to all the people I play with in the Sunrunner Galaxy. I couldn't tell this story without you.) Clear Skies, ~Noel
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